For beginners, locating the P-spot can be challenging.
The prostate is a less apparent sexual organ compared to the penis, and developing sensitivity to that part of your body is part of the rewiring process.
Arousal plays a significant role; even experienced users sometimes find that without the right mood, their prostate may not respond to any sexual feedback.
Finding the Prostate
Here are a few common methods for finding the prostate:
- Finger Exploration: Insert your middle finger into your anus, about two knuckles deep (usually two to three inches). Curl your finger up towards your belly button and feel for the gland. The prostate feels firm and smooth, and applying pressure may be pleasurable or create a sensation similar to needing to pee. Be aware that this sensation can be misleading, as the bladder is located just above the prostate.
- Prostate Stimulation During Orgasm: Place a finger in your anus as described above, but bring yourself to a typical orgasm while doing so. The prostate will swell with arousal, and during ejaculation, it contracts to secrete fluid that carries semen out of the body.
- Hands-Free Prostate Toys: These toys are designed to reach the prostate at the right length. Starting with one and focusing on where it contacts your body can help you pinpoint the correct location.
It's important to remember that how someone else describes finding the prostate may not perfectly suit your body. Explore at your own pace and see what works best for you.
Hygiene and cleanliness
Practice good hygiene before sessions to maintain cleanliness and avoid any mess.
Most people find that a simple routine works well: having a bowel movement an hour or two before, followed by a thorough wash (externally) with soap and water, and maintaining a good diet and gastrointestinal health.
Enemas are another option some users advocate for, but be aware of potential side effects and risks. For details on using an enema bulb, refer to the mentioned thread for explanations.
If you're still concerned about encountering any stool, using a condom on objects entering the anus can provide extra protection and peace of mind.
Steps for Beginners
If you're starting and prefer to avoid diving in alone, try progressing through these steps. If you get stuck at any point, don't worry—try again another day.
- Are you feeling apprehensive, concerned, confused, or ashamed? Don't be! If you're struggling with these feelings, check out the FAQ on shame and guilt for support.
- Are you feeling tired, stressed, or sick? Try again another day when you're feeling better.
- Ensure you have uninterrupted time alone. It's crucial to have privacy without the fear of being interrupted.
- Are you aroused? If not, do whatever you need to get in the mood, but try to avoid touching your penis for now. You can work on this while completing the following two steps.
- Wash up and get comfortable. Cleanliness and comfort are critical to a relaxed experience.
- Gather everything you'll need, including towels, lube, pillows, and anything else to make the experience more comfortable. You won't want to stop midway to grab something.
- Are you aroused now? If not, take a moment to relax and get there.
- Lube up your finger or a beginner-friendly toy. Use more lube than you think you'll need.
- Relax your body and mind. Take your time to ease into the experience.
- Insert your instrument slowly. There should never be discomfort, so take it easy.
- Find the prostate and experiment with different types of stimulation. This may take more than one session, so be patient.
If you can complete the last step, you're ready to continue exploring independently! If you're still using your fingers, it's recommended that you get a toy.
How you choose to proceed is entirely up to you and what you want to get out of prostate play. Some people enjoy the pleasant sensations and enhancing their typical masturbation, while others pursue the elusive Super-O.
Whatever your goals, remember that this is all about pleasure and having fun. Enjoy each session for what it is, and don't let any perceived lack of progress frustrate you.